Thought I had emerged victorious....

I am tired, and I feel small. This is certainly not my favorite place to be.

But hey... luckily I have a blog for such things. A nice little place where I can freely admit that I acted badly, and complain about my petty misfortunes and issues with the illusion of anonymity... but what the hell, eh? The only people I am aware of that read this I know in person, and my disparaging comments about the conduct of my ex-room mate will likely soon be reaching his ears. Most likely to be viewed as an attack, and retaliated with in kind.
Wondering what happened? If no, best likely just to skip this entry entirely, and go look at this rather amusing website here about ten really cool places you cannot go. (Likely a better read than the following.)

Kept reading? Wow. I wouldn't have...

Ok. So. I'm sure anyone who actually reads this blog knows at this time I am in a bit of a transition. One room mate is moving out, another would like to move in. My situation is this: the alternate roomie has been on hold since December, because the former roomie has been moving the move-out date just about constantly.

This week, that date finally came. He and I had previously had some issues with cleaning. Or, more accurately, I had some issues with how I felt the chores were being allocated. I wont go into specifics, but things were really rather reaching a fever pitch with me. In any case, the conduct of this other person had in many ways been an issue with me. Particularly as recently he has been doing (or rather not getting done) many things.... the main reason? To spite me for not having agreed to give him nearly a hundred dollars to get his things out of my apartment by the end of the month, thus forcing me to continue putting off the nice fella who has been waiting to move in here since December. (Because it is not the 31st, he wants to be pro-rated for the balance of the month. I would likely been more willing to agree if 1) he had been kinder about making that request and 2) if I could spare that kind of money) As it is now March, we can assume my new roomie is rather magnificently patient. (Which seems to be a pretty big requirement for living with me)

I had intended on beginning this blog triumphantly, for I used his own logic to gain myself a small victory in this nasty, passive aggressive cold war we seem to be engaged in. My victory was short lived. The state of my apartment was awful. Filthy to the point that I was actively embarrassed to have people over, and hadn't in any real basis in weeks. Now, one might assume that upon moving out, I would have help getting things ready, but alas, this has not happened. Two days, nearly 50 dollars, and about 11 hours of work have seen the apartment much improved, but still unfinished. I have done all of this alone. This has frustrated me a great deal, particularly in the face of the fact that my ex-room mate has specifically not helped even finish moving his own things out. I have several friends coming tonight to help me get the rest of his things out tonight (four days after the move date) so professional carpet cleaners can come and take care of his room tomorrow. Now, frankly, my conduct here has been less than admirable. I have been stubborn, pig headed, and reduced to yelling at him. Its mean, and its petty, and things have gotten to the point where I just want him to give me my goddamn key, and let us go on with our lives. I'm looking forward to merely being friends, and members of the same gaming group, not room mates. The victory might be saving my new room mate and myself this fee, but will be coming at an interesting cost. Since I wont pay it, the cold war wont end.
Now I just feel nasty. No triumph at my little victory, no feeling of excitement and ease that should come with such, no key... mostly I am just wondering what other mean little things he is going to do, and I am going to retaliate with, before this whole mess is over.

Now a little disclaimer: I do not dislike my ex-roomie. (Enjoying that diplomatic double-negative?) By and large (and he is very large... one of the tallest damn fellows I've ever had the pleasure of meeting) he is an excellent guy. My disagreements with certain aspects of his character do not discount the fact that he is certainly intelligent, and can be a great deal of fun to hang out with.
I am looking forward to the end of this mean little war. I really hope he and his awesome (sexy) girlfriend really enjoy living with each other, and that my new roomie and I get along with this new facet to our dynamic.

I am really looking forward to the time when this small feeling goes away.

And now? A nap.